Whatever happens, happens.

it's been three months now since i last posted something. what happened?

well, i first created this blog so that i can express whatever i cannot express to other people. people that would think that being a twilight fan is crazy; that i am a pathetic robsten believer; that my opinions are childish just because i'm younger to most people i work with; that not having an official relationship means you do not fall in love and for so many other things. i just want to let it all out even i know no one will even read.

last november, i doubt if i can maintain this blog. december came, i said to myself that i couldn't. but then, i realized last night that there are lot of things happened to me and around me. i need to let it out even if in small words. i just need to let it all out.

so maybe, i might not update this blog regularly but at least i will be able to express my opinions, insights, feelings and whatsover that it is to say everytime i need to.
sounds EMO? actually, i do not want to be tagged as EMO. when you are tagged as EMO, don't you feel that it's like they are saying that you are weak? hmph! we are human for goodness! we have emotions, my dear. what makes us different from each other in being emotional is the way we express are feelings. expressing it less or expressing it more, does not change who you are.



ciao!

I am drowning.

Sometimes I wanna give up on life. There is something happening that I could not explain. Life has become a routine. A routine that is like spinning around a pole, not moving forward, not even going up.



Life is so vague that even the most intelligent people would not get life defined correctly.



Why? I think I am drowning.

Uuuy!

I am crushing on this guy from one of our vendors. He came today to replace one hard disk. Now, I can't stop smiling. He just made my day.


If the DHL guy came 4 minutes earlier, I could have walked with him out to the security gate to receive the package. ~sigh~


Why is he such a beautiful man?!

I melted.

Avoid!

Avoid negative people at all costs. If they do not want to help themselves, there's nothing that you can do to them.

Human

I found out that I am grumpy in the morning...and I have my moods too. Just a human being...expect imperfections.

Hisashiburi desu ne

Hisashiburi desu ne! O genki desu ka? Watashi wa genki desu.

Well, it's been a while.

I was too busy for the last three weeks. Fall semester started two weeks ago and it' Ramadan. Sure! Isogashikatta desu. I was so busy!

Let's summarize what happen in my life.

• I've been learning Japanese. This afternoon, it's our 4th Friday having Japanese conversational lessons. It's so fun to learn a new language. I'm always looking forward to Fridays now.
• Friday lunch. Like I said, I look forward to Fridays now not only because of Japanese lessons but the lunch before the lesson proper. We cook and eat lunch together. We serve different dishes. This afternoon we had Bhutanese food. I don't know what you call it but it was SO good.
• I get the chance to eat rice. It's been a month now that I'm not eating rice on weekdays. I only eat rice on Thursday night until Saturday lunch. It's so hard at first especially when your a rice slave but when you survive the first week without rice, it will be easier for the next days. You will no longer crave for it. Losing weight requires a lot of discipline.
• Busy, busy, busy! A lot of things come and happen in ITS office. I have to be oriented and updated in all of these. It requires a lot of physical energy, intellectual memory, life's wisdom, faith in God and a bunch of patience. No task should be forgotten and all words should be noted correctly and verbatimly if possible.
• I think I'm becoming anti-social. Just imagine yourself talking to more or less 50 different people personally and over the phone every single day. When you go out your office, even if you go to the toilet, you will see same people you spoke to inside your office. You.ll get tired talking to them saying the same things every hour or less. When I go out of our building to eat or to go home, I just don't want to talk to people when I pass by them. Don't wanna stop and mingle. Sometimes, I wanna despise them but I can't. :)
• I have a huge crush with "The IT man". He isn't from our company but he works for one of our vendors. They provide support and service to some our computers. I like the feeling. It makes me feel young.

For now, that's all! Surly, there's more to write. I just gave the highlights.

Now need to sleep. Good night! :)

w-a-s-t-e-d!

i.am.s.o.D.R.A.I.N.E.D.

oh yeah!

I may not have the power to convince, but surely I have the charms to persuade.

Stuck in a moment

"You've got to get yourself together

You've got stuck in a moment

And now you can't get out of it"

- U2

Another TOL moment

Last night, I got very upset and started talking about life's complication. Thought a lot of things this boils down to the following:

• Everyone is always given a chance. Chances are always there but it is always your choice to blow it off or not.
• In life, it is always pass or fail, yes or no, true or false, up and down, good and bad. It is just up to you where to stand.
• Things fall out to where they are because of the choices you made before it happened.
• Your decision-making ability decides how your life will turn into.
• You may be great on certain things but how great are you in using these things to move forward?
• If you cannot commit yourself to others, how do you expect someone to commit to you.
• How to be successful in life does not all the time depend on books that successful writers write. All of us want to be successful but we are all different from each other. You have different style, different attitude and character. what works for them does not mean will work for you and vice versa.
• No man is an island but it does not mean you have to depend on people every single time in every single way and chance you got.
• I believe in Oprah when she said that, "Relationship is composed of two WHOLE individual," because if you are not a complete or whole person by yourself or on your own, who are you then? and what can you do for the relationship?
• It is surely true that it takes two to tango but you should have your own individuality when it is your time to dance alone.
• The world rotates on its axis as it revolves around the sun which isn’t moving. So, don’t be the self-centered Sun because the Earth has its motion and it won’t stop for you, at least, philosophically.
• Life is fair if you know how to live it well. Can someone tell me how to live well? or perhaps, define 'well' please!

Ok 12 points taken. These were my Thinking Out Loud (TOL) realization. Whew! What kind of life do I have?! Who Am I now? All I can say is that I have changed. One day, I woke up and I am not the same person I knew I was.

* These were my own words, opinion and ideas. Feel free to share if you think it appeals or applies to you. Just do not forget to acknowledge the blog owner. *wink*

18 Aug 2009